Goals are funny. We build them up in our minds as these crazy outlandish ideas to chase after. Sometimes they’re our own ideas, often we see what others are doing and say “maybe I could do that!” We put pressure on ourselves to get to that end point and celebrate the finish line.

What if we’re looking at them all wrong? Maybe the finish line isn’t the reward? Maybe it’s the daily show up, the small gains, and everything we learn along the way.

The Victory Lap Isn’t the Victory

For me, there’s no maybe anymore. When I look back at my biggest athletic accomplishments, the actual day was just the victory lap. Whether it was the 17 hours to complete IRONMAN Mont Tremblant, the 4 minutes 20 seconds to swim 200 meters in 30°F water, or the 5 hours to become the first person to swim 8 miles backstroke across Boston Harbor, that final push was the celebration. The real victory happened long before that, in the time and energy I invested in myself throughout the entire process.

Don’t get me wrong, I had time goals. I used them as motivation and tracked all the data. But hitting a specific time was never the underlying motivation. So much of race day is out of your control: the weather, how other athletes perform, how you slept, how stressed you are. I was never disappointed with my time or placement because that wasn’t the point of doing any of these things. My worth and success weren’t tied to the outcome, it was found in the process.

Your effort is within you. It comes from your desire and dedication. The reward is the feeling of pride that surfaces when you do something for yourself. It has nothing to do with outside factors or what others believe. It’s up to YOU to measure it. And your opinion is the only one that matters.

What My Backstroke Swim Across Boston Harbor Taught Me

My recent Backstroke swim is the perfect example. The actual day was far easier than a couple of the training swims. The weather helped, but ultimately it was because I did the training. I worked hard and didn’t back away from tough conditions, preparing for the worst case scenario. The 5-mile and 6-mile swims at Nantasket were much harder than the actual event. For a moment, the day I reached the lighthouse, I actually felt let down. It seemed that without the struggle I didn’t earn that swim. But the truth is I earned it with all the struggles I faced during training.

My Next Test: Kona and the Ho’ala Swim

I’m putting my own lesson into practice. I’m heading to Kona next month for the IRONMAN World Championships . I’ll be there as a spectator cheering for some athletes I coach. I have zero interest in the bike or run in that heat. But the swim? Yes please. Turns out anyone can sign up for the Ho’ala training swim the week before. It’s a 2.4-mile swim with a 2-hour-20-minute cutoff.

Since the backstroke swim, I’ve been swimming with no pace or distance goals at all, just because I enjoy it. And within Team B*REAL, we just kicked off our September Streak challenge, where I picked skipping. No time, no distance, just skip every day. It’s brought back the plain, uncomplicated joy of being a kid swinging my arms around, and without meaning to, it’s gotten me walking more and doing old PT exercises again. No pressure. No plan. Just fun, and it’s working.

One day while I was skipping, I thought about the Ho’ala swim. Could I take this same approach?

I know that pace. I could do the math in my head before I even finished reading the cutoff time. And for a second, the old instinct kicked in: the same one that remembers being out of the water at Ironman Mont Tremblant in under 1 hour 10 minutes back in 2018. It would be so easy to compare the paces and feel disappointed in how much has changed.

I caught myself doing it. And then I stopped.

My goal: live in the moment. Don’t worry about fast, find the fun. Take up every one of those 2 hours and 20 minutes. The water there is known for being clear, with fish and coral along the way. This may be the only time I ever do this swim. I’m bringing my GoPro this time, something I never would have packed for Mont Tremblant, so if a fish or a piece of coral catches my eye, I can stop and actually capture it instead of just swimming past.

If You Can’t Be Fast, Be Fun

Because the finish line was never the point. The training was. Choosing to enjoy it was.

So here’s my question for you: what’s one goal you’re chasing right now where you could let go of the finish line and find the fun instead? You don’t need a big leap to try it. We’re mid-way through our Team B*REAL September Streak, my version is skipping every day, and it’s already spilling into other parts of my life I didn’t expect. Pick something small. Show up daily. See what it teaches you.