REAL Blog
Ditch the Resolution: Embrace More You in 2025
- Adina O'Neill
Why “New Year, New You” is Limiting
The idea that you need a NEW you makes it sound like you need to replace yourself and implies that you don’t belong the way you are or there is something wrong with you. It’s another way that society is sending a message that you need to look a certain way or act a certain way in order to be accepted. That unless you change people aren’t going to like you or that you are not good enough as you are.
It’s exciting to try new things, to set new goals and expand your knowledge. I wholeheartedly support the desire to improve, grow, and heal. But you don’t need to be a new you. My friend Janet likes to think of it as each new year is the beginning of another layer of personal transformation. I like that perspective.
The Power of Self-Acceptance
I’m not here to convince you to change your mind. That wouldn’t be very accepting of me, would it? I am here to encourage you to consider these ideas when you reflect on what moving into the new year – or any new stage of life – looks like to you.
- Focus on all that you are and all you can do without dwelling on what you are not or cannot do.
- Embrace the struggle. Hardships teach you the lessons you need to grow and thrive. Without the rough waves we aren’t able to appreciate the calm waters.
- Nothing is too small to celebrate. Each minor achievement is setting you up for a big victory somewhere down the road.
- Make space for more of what makes you special and more what brings you joy. Say no to things that don’t serve a positive purpose in your life and remove negative influences including people, media, and activities. Wait until you see all the space you’ll have for the things you love.
Let the light of the new year bring new opportunities, new ideas and new adventures. Let it brighten your light. Let it nurture your truth. Let it add kindness and love. Let it shine on your hopes and dreams.
Creating a Foundation for Growth
One of the most important aspects of moving forward is not leaving everything behind. You’ve spent this last year and all the years before you trying, learning and growing. Your experiences are the foundation of your future.
Here’s an exercise you can do to help you organize your thoughts and decide what you will carry into 2025. Wherever you journal, reflect on the following 7 aspects of your life and decide what you can carry forward as your foundation.
I’m sharing this as a series on social media and I invite you to join the conversation. I’m curious to hear your thoughts and hope you’ll gather new ideas from others. If there’s something you don’t want to share publicly, please send an email to hello@adinaoneill.com. Your stories inspire me.
Your Essence: What Makes You, You?
The best way I know how to describe this is with my own story. I am a lifelong swimmer. I stopped in HS because I was never fast and felt like I didn’t belong. I returned to it through triathlon and got a big boost from the non-swimmers who thought I was fast. I faced a shoulder and back injury and fought to get back in the water.
When the pools were closed during the pandemic I felt lost without swimming. I forced myself into cold lakes and ponds in the Boston area with open water groups. I met some wonderful people and found the magic of both ice swimming and marathon swimming.
As a woman in a larger body it is comforting to see successful swimmers of all shapes and sizes. I have never been fat shamed by a swimmer. The ocean is my safe and happy place and the key to my mental health. I go there to meditate and escape from the harsh realities of life. Some days I swim 5 minutes and others 5 miles. My love of the water has evolved in ways I never imagined and is now part of my essence.
I hope you discover your essence and find time to connect with it often.
Knowledge is Power: Building on Past Learnings
Every experience is an opportunity to learn, to prepare for what lies ahead. Allow your mind to accept ideas that you can add and help your goals evolve. Some of the ideas may be new, but when added to your existing knowledge you become more powerful.
I’m carrying over all the awesomeness I gained to write more effective training plans and support athletes even better than before from courses and conferences. Throwing out some REAL gratitude for World Open Water Swimming Association (WOWSA), USA Triathlon, Feisty Media, Beyond The Breakers, my business coach at Belmont City Press, and a variety of experts who have been guests on Team B*REAL meetings throughout the year.
I’m committed to keep learning and believe we can help each other learn! Please keep me in mind if you hear of any good conferences. And if you need more knowledge about swimming, triathlon or moving forward at your pace (more on that later), I’m here for you!
Prioritizing Personal & Mental Health
This is a heavy topic with lots of opinions. Health means different things to different people. We must advocate for ourselves in a world that sometimes we don’t understand. I’m no expert, but what I’ve learned is to be curious, ask questions and always trust yourself. Far too often the most problematic health concerns are the ones we do not see. We rely on preventative care to detect first signs of serious issues. Swimmers, triathletes, runners, cyclists, hikers – we all spend a lot of time in the sun. Wear sunscreen and get your skin checked. I had my first skin check this year and am taking a clean report into 2025.
We also need to address our mental health. For me that meant, meeting with a registered dietitian regularly for nutrition therapy and learning how to set better personal and professional boundaries. I’m taking learnings from Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory and Joseph Nguyen’s Don’t Believe Everything You Think into 2025. If you are a people pleaser or overthinker like me, these resources may help you too.
Nurturing Meaningful Connections
This is an extremely broad and essential category and for me. I thrive on having personal connections in all aspects of my life starting with my husband Mark, our children and of course, Mel the dog. They are my top priority and I have no shame in missing events or pushing deadlines to nurture these relationships. Not far behind are my close friends who support me in more ways than I could explain. I love you all.
Since I’m self-employed and work from home, I sometimes need to get a little creative here. Being an endurance athlete can also be pretty lonely. I train with friends, but there’s not a lot of opportunity for conversation when riding bikes on the road, swimming for hours in the ocean, or running with people who are not your same pace. I’m grateful to have many swim buddies, online friends around the globe, on Zoom at our Saturday Sweat Sessions and the extraordinary athletes of Team B*REAL.
I’ll be carrying forward connections with some amazing partners: Stoughton YMCA, iTri Girls, Spreadshirt, BlueSeventy, BOCO Gear, Jakroo, SBR Sports, Zealios, NoxGear, Zone3, Air Relax, Finis, and Three Rego Creative. Not to mention the support of other entrepreneurs and mentors who make owning a business a little less scary.
Professional Growth & Success
I’m beyond proud to say that I will carry my business forward another year. Being an entrepreneur is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. The reward is creating a positive impact is equally proportional to the amount of effort I pour into my work. Every day I get to serve the athletes in the REAL community is a true gift. From events like the Winter Warrior Challenge, Saturday Sweat Sessions, Virtual Triathlon and September Streak to group or 1:1 coaching on Team B*REAL and empowering every regular person through social media, my website and my book, Forward Is A Pace to be an extraordinary athlete.
You inspire me to speak up for the non-traditional athletes and the marginalized groups who don’t feel included to create a welcoming and safe space for every BODY to cross any finish line they desire. It is my honor to celebrate athlete successes like:
- first time finishes and personal bests from Sprint to Ironman Triathlon, and 1 mile to 10K swims.
- Improved form and efficiency for 20+ triathletes, open water swimmers, lifestyle swimmers, swim vacationers and my first swim-run athlete !
- So many stories of progress and pride
All of this experience will help me grow as a coach and provide even more resources and opportunities for you to chase your personal goals and dreams.
Cultivating Your Hobbies
This personal creative outlet should not be overlooked. I’ll be the first to admit that this is one I need to carve out more time for. I love being creative with my photos and social media posts and you can usually find me singing along to my favorite music on walks or in the car for motivation and inspiration. I’ve even picked up my flute here and there. And yet, I tend to prioritize time with my husband, friends and children. I’ll carry forward the reminder that this is important and see where that takes me.
Defining Your Mantra
For years I have been repeating “Believe it. Achieve it.” and “Keep Moving Forward” to motivate myself, maintain discipline and inspire the athletes I work with. As my work towards inclusion builds and my personal skills and interests evolve, I have adopted a new phrase which became the title of my first book: Forward Is A Pace. I often do things on my own timeline. Even this year-end reflection and new year pep talk is over a week “overdue”. It still counts.
I talked about this quote from Confucius on page 68 of the book:“ It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” That’s what Forward Is a Pace is all about – in life, in business, in health, in hobbies, and in sport. “There is no shame in finishing last – you finished. And even if you don’t finish, having the courage to try is admirable.”
I am overwhelmed by your response to this book. Thank you for sending me your stories and tagging me on social media. The examples of how you repeat it in everyday situations and how you apply it to both personal and professional situations have convinced me that this is more than triathlon and swimming. It’s not just a book or merch; it’s a movement. I hope you’ll stick around for what’s to come…at whatever pace that may be.
You Got This! Let’s Connect in 2025
I can’t wait to hear what you are carrying over into next year. I hope you will join the conversation on social media. Please subscribe to my email list to stay connected and inspired. I’ll also keep you up to date with my progress and opportunities to work together through the year. You can always send me an email at hello@adinaoneill.com if you’d like to discuss your personal goals.
Be Well. Be REAL. Keep Moving Forward.
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